How do you address yourself when things get sticky?

[petra]

I can't be the only person who regularly talks to herself in times of discontent. What terms do you use to address yourself when things are complicated or unpleasant?

Comments

[petra]

I am in the habit of calling myself "sweetheart" in sentences like, "Okay, sweetheart, you didn't mess that up too badly," but on reflection I need to mix it up, because it can be an edged term of quasi-endearment when I am annoyed with myself.

[desireearmfeldt]

Hm, I talk to myself regularly but I don't usually address myself/call myself anything.

Then again, I don't usually address other people by name unless I'm trying to get their attention/disambiguate who I'm talking to.

[petra]

Huh, interesting. I mostly address myself with gentler terms because otherwise I get tempted to use harsher ones when I'm mad at myself.

[desireearmfeldt]

Hm, and thinking about it some more: while I do sometimes address myself directly in the second person ("there's nothing you can do about that right now, so stop stressing over it"), most of my talking to myself is in the first person ("what did I come up here for?") and/or about topics that aren't myself ("so, in the next scene, the protagonist is going to jump out the window, wait, does that make any sense?").

[petra]

Ah, that makes sense. Most of my talking to myself is in the second person, so it makes sense that I occasionally call myself something other than "you."

[angelofthenorth]

"Oh Puffin" (which is my husband's name for me)

[petra]

Aw, that's sweet!

[ex_flameandsong751]

"Bae". (Though it also means "poo" in Danish. 😭 🤣)

[petra]

A beautifully double-edged sword, that.

[dine]

while I often talk to myself, I rarely use any sort of name - after all, it's just me, and I know I'm talking to me

[petra]

That makes sense. I learned to soften my dialogue with myself during a period of disability when I was being really nasty with myself about what I could and couldn't do, so it's a learned response.

[dine]

I think you made a good and wise choice there - much better to show yourself some softness/forgiveness. it's a very positive learned response

[minoanmiss]

I tend to use my first name admonishingly.

[petra]

I used to do this too but I tried to break the habit because I heard too many other things in my voice (mental or literal) when I just used my name.

[tamsin]

I tend to use Süße (roughly translated: cutie).

[petra]

I approve of being gentle with yourself!

[sulien]

The only time I address myself when I'm talking to myself out loud is when I've managed to oops something somehow, then it runs the gamut from 'Oh, that was swift there, Grace!' when I've been klutzy to 'Smooth move, dumbass!' when I've managed to completely screw something up. Otherwise, it's just a general sort of 'Okay, let's do this.' type of encouragement thing.

[petra]

I used to do this too, but then I realized I wouldn't treat anyone else the way I was treating myself, and I worked on changing it. I'm not sure how much difference it makes in the subjective experience of my life but I'm really good at being mean to myself, so I figure every little bit helps.

[jesse_the_k]

Can't hurt!

I've been catching myself apologizing for my "broken brain," which is a) true and b) not helpful framing.

I just call myself "Jesse."

[petra]

I'm sorry your brain has not been living up to your expectations. Do you know what's got it squirrelly?

[daegaer]

I use either a short form of my name, or my name (when I'm being sterner with myself) or my surname, which is when I know I've messed up ;-) If I'm very annoyed I will use rude terms to myself.

[petra]

I like the escalation of names so you know when you really mean it. When I catch myself using rude words for myself it's a very bad sign.

[mific]

Does "Oh for god's sake!" count as a form of address?

[petra]

Only sorta.

[fred_mouse]

The only one I can think of at the moment is 'bloody stupid human', which I only do when I've been programming all day and make yet another foolish error (I am not a programmer. I just work as one). It is just foolish enough that it breaks the cranky/swearing cycle for a while.

[petra]

If it works for you, go with it.