What's a question you are looking for an answer to?

[petra]

Those of us who are relatively new to the staying-inside gig may well have some questions for the members of the community who have been doing it longer. Let's call this post a safe space to ask questions of each other.

Comments

[petra]

My partner in staying inside is my life partner, and while I love said partner dearly, I yearn for hugs from other humans. How do you cope with having limited contact with the world when socialization is hard/impossible/against the rules?

[althea_valara]

This is a very tough question. I'm actually not sure how I cope with it, other than familiarity over time. I live with family members, but we don't touch each other. I have two friends who live in different suburbs than me; they offer hugs when we see each other, but we get together only a few times a year, if that. It wasn't that long ago that I went about three years between getting together with friends.

The last time I can say for sure that I was touched by a human being was Christmas. Pretty sad, isn't it? But like I said, I've gotten used to it over the years. Of course I do crave touch at times; if my family would allow it I'd have a cat, but one of my family members doesn't like them.

Perhaps this is why I crochet and knit so much. It's a very tactile art, especially if you have a soft wool, or one of the nicer acrylics. It can be pleasurable to fondle the yarn, and soothing to work with it.

I also tend to hug my pillow when I go to bed at night, which helps.

[scytale]

I started hugging my pillows at night, and it really does help. o.o Thank you!

[petra]

I've been knitting more since the pandemic started but it doesn't help with missing people in general or specific. I'm glad you have a balance in your life that works for you.

[scytale]

I didn't get a lot of touch from humans even before staying inside, and there have definitely been periods when I have been not very connected (except to cats).

Comfy yoga of the stretch-and-mindfulness type really help me. I find the relaxing back poses where there's a lot of back support from the mat helps (along with focusing on the feeling of the mat or ground).

Warm and comfy things: showers, sunlight, blankets. Showers are particularly great because of the warmth and the feeling of the water. :)

Viewing nature and animals helps me regain a sense of connectedness. Touching trees and hanging out in parks can help too.

Really comfy fiction about people with more of a social life. But this one is a mixed bag, because sometimes it works but sometimes it makes me feel worse (and sometimes it does first one and then the other...).

[petra]

I will keep these suggestions in mind. For me the best way to reset my body is with a bath, but one can only take so many baths in a week.

[scytale]

Good luck!

Yep, for me it's showers, and same problem. :(

[mesotablar]

Touch starvation is a really common problem for heaps of people but you do get used to it. Aromantic and Asexual forums talk about it but don't seem to have real solutions because most are used to not touching others. I have one person I hug frequently and that feels perfectly fine for me but if we weren't isolating together I would probably be fine going back to no touch because I did get used to being touch starved (like riding a bicycle).

I do have 5 pillows in bed so I am literally surrounded by soft 'bodies' when I sleep.

I think nursing homes have introduced several measure to reduce touch starvation for residents. I can't remember them all but one was definitely dancing. To touch in an intimate non-sexual way that is out of the ordinary routine of things can be more satisfying than frequent informal touches.

[petra]

Thank you for these suggestions. I've been compensating by spending a lot of time cuddling my cat, but the suggestion about sleeping with a zillion pillows reminded me that I have a weighted blanket I can pull out and try.

[mesotablar]

I'd love to know how the blanket works out! I was curious about weighted blankets but was too scared they would restrict my sleep movements and give me leg cramps or something.

[petra]

I haven't tried it while sleeping for those reasons, but I'm going to haul it out so I can sit under it tomorrow. I'll try to remember to report back.

[fred_mouse]

I'd like to know how people juggle multiple people in a household/finding quiet space/not being able to do the loud and obnoxious things that are good for personal mental health because there is never a time when you are the only one home (I like to put Alice Cooper on Very. Loud. while I do particular housework tasks. Guess which housework tasks aren't being touched)

[duskpeterson]

Earbuds? I use an old nametag holder that hangs from the neck to put my iPod Touch in while I'm doing housework and want to listen through my earbuds at the same time. I'm sure there are more secure solutions out there to carrying a mobile device while moving around.

[mesotablar]

If you can let them join in. Assuming no one really hates Alice Cooper, just explain that his is a thing that is important to you and it makes you feel better about doing those chores.

I much prefer to do a cleaning day rather than doing little bits of cleaning all the time, which sort of makes it it's own event. Though of course there are those annoying jobs that have to be done sooner than cleaning day....

If everyone else in the house does hate Alice Cooper you could time it so everyone else in the house could go for a scenic drive and pick up some take away food so that you can be the only one in the house for once, then you get rewarded with food when they return.

I'm not sure about your area but where I am plenty of people drive down to the beach to watch the sunset from their cars, so if you really want to be home alone for a while investigate what car views can be found nearby.

More info: When I couldn't walk my mum found many pretty little places to view from a car. Local park parking lots, official city lookouts, road with slow speeds through valleys or along the beach front. Think outside the box and google earth is your friend.